Fragments of A Faulty Memory

The crowd begins to disperse as the rain starts falling. All those people finally left, leaving only me and her mother aside her grave. I approach her and pat her shoulders gently. She stops sobbing and look up, like she just remember something all of sudden. She takes something out from her wallet and hand it to me. "She loved you." I take it, she immediately left. I unfold the paper and my heart is torn to pieces when I see blood stains on it. I recognize it, her handwriting. *** I have a bad news. I just have my first love. For the first time in forever, I am madly in love. After months of denying it, now I just come to realize that I truly am in love. Like anyone else been experiencing. Like ummm humans do. The good part of this news is that I finally feel something like humans normally feel. So I'm not so heartless, eh? I have worse news. He has fallen in love as well. Well, he never told me. But I am smart enough to realize it. I am a person that cou...

I have a bad news. I just have my first love. For the first time in forever, I am madly in love. After months of denying it, now I just come to realize that I truly am in love. Like anyone else been experiencing. Like ummm humans do. The good part of this news is that I finally feel something like humans normally feel. So I'm not so heartless, eh? I have worse news. He has fallen in love as well. Well, he never told me. But I am smart enough to realize it. I am a person that could always predict a plot twist from a story that people could rarely guess, so you could tell how smart I am. The good part of the news is that he's in love with me. Well, it is partially bad news tho. I have other news. Perhaps this is the worst. I think we know that we love each other. It's just another one step needed for us to be together. The good part of this news is none. What's good about going along with a person like me? Well, I am running out of news. Now, I beg for a help. Make him s...

I look at another me in the mirror. I know it wasn’t me. I know it is not Nisa that once was so alive, so cheerful and always curious. That, a person over there is just a body with empty soul. A figure of man appears in the frame, right behind me. I can see him scanning my body through the reflection. He turn my body facing toward him and he gently stroke my face. I couldn’t help but stare to his eyes. All I see is nothing but lust. I know what he’s going to do next, just like the other day when my mother got caught storing cassava she was suppose to hand over to men in uniform or another day when my father caught red-handed trying to bring my mother and I to a picnic in the forest across the border. He throw me to the bed roughly. Rip my shirt and skirt. The clothes that my parents tore their bone to purchase them. He is into my body, undermining it like a wild wolf. I groan in pain, he grins. I stay still, he moves roughly. This time, I find no rage or fear inside me. I feel nothing...

Ia mungkin akan tersentak Saat kelak lenganku yang kotor merangkul pundaknya Aku hanya ingin berdiri Ia mungkin akan berjengit Saat kelak nafasku yang kering merambati punggungnya Aku hanya ingin bersandar Ia mungkin akan muak Saat kelak rintihanku yang sumbang memekakkan telinganya Aku hanya ingin bercerita