Fragments of A Faulty Memory

"Why you don't want to go to the beach? do you hate sea so much?" I don't want to see her in the eyes and let her dive deep into my withered soul. Instead, I stared at the mirror behind her. I answered as if I was talking to myself. "No, it's not the sea that I hate. I just can't enjoy being at the beach." As I kept staring at myself in the mirror, I just realized that my eyes were more sunken and my cheekbones was more pronounced. There wasn't just a withered soul, but a withered figure as well. "Why? Don't you find it peaceful to have the wind upon your face and embrace you? How come a human don't enjoy the music the waves make?" She was very animated which was kind of intimidating to me. "....It's just insanely endearing to me. How can you resist such beauty?" She asked in curious gesture as if I was another species, coming from another galaxy. I was silent. Trying to find the answer that would...

Sadarlah, kau tidak buta.  Kau hanya diam dalam gelap. Sadarlah, kau tidak mati rasa.  Kau hanya diam dalam hawa dingin yang membekukan. Sadarlah, kau tidak tuli.  Kau hanya diam dalam kehampaan. Dan sadarlah! Sadar bahwa kau sama sekali tak terusik karenanya. Sadarlah.. Terusiklah.. Jangan diam seperti batu..

Yang dijaga mati-matian, tak kujumpai di mana pun. Ia hilang. Menambah luas kekosongan. Kepada bayang-bayang dalam cermin, jiwa sekaratku bertanya, Di mana ia yang kemarin berapi-api? Di mana renjanaku? Ia menatapku dengan iba. Menunjuk tepat ke dadaku. Ia tetap di sana. Tapi ia padam.