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Does it still matter to celebrate?

My dear,

a date in this month marks my 27th trip around one enormous star yet so little inside you. Should I celebrate? Some do, the others don’t. Should I treat you? I’d love to, my way. 

What about little secrets, the spark I felt just now in my heart and a tiny constellation of my mind? Alright, dear. First, it's my love for the idea that my time revolving around the big star is by chance an endless series of finding a purpose in the journey itself. It's also a faith I love to keep that this journey is an endless struggle of embracing the certainty that you will never tell me in voices, in words so clear whether I have found the true purpose. Only you can measure the amount of truth in each purpose I came up with. But I have the strongest love for this idea that maybe I am here, so tiny inside you, to feel a new spectrum of emotions along my journey. 

I love to believe that those emotions are presents you sincerely gave me each time, and it’s a quest to reveal them all. Do you have the number of all the emotions millions of beings have experienced? Or is it infinite? Isn't it wonderful to be ambushed by a rare emotion at unexpected times? Oh to have sorrow or joy warm and cold in my chest, bursting out of my soul and crawling out as tears that don’t fall, laughter I can’t hold, or a voiceless cry of awe. 

Is it funny that I call it a secret and ask you to keep it? For you hold infinite secrets within you. So big while mine are even smaller than a speck of dust, almost a nothingness. Oh, and shame on me to even think of asking you to bless me in all my journey around the sun! One day along the journey, I shall forget these very secrets I shared with you at 27, and one day I will be breathless between other stars. So, does it still matter to celebrate? 

My dear, 

my last secret is my love for believing that my journey will take forever. I wish it's true that I’ll keep spinning around the sun. Even when I turn into a skeleton buried on land or sinking in the deep ocean. Now I am overwhelmed with shame. I suppose my secrets aren’t fair treats as you hold infinite secrets within you. Incomparable to mine, so small, almost a nothingness. 

So does it still matter to celebrate? Is it too much to ask for a birthday present? That this year and forever you will embrace me and let me drown in your love even to the time when finally my secrets and my emotions fade and are forgotten?


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